Season 5 (POMfannumber1)/Eleventh Night

Meeting Amy And Rory
Doctor: Do I like crashing in this body? Yes I do! CRASHING IS FUN!

The console starts exploding.

Doctor: Oh dear. I hate suits, suits are not cool!

The Doctor undresses complety and he is naked.

Doctor: Ah! Much better!

The TARDIS crashes outside a bar.

The Doctor walks into the bar, Amy Pond is serving a group of middle-aged men.

Man 1: Amy, babe, get us some more beer.

Amy: Don't babe me. You know perfectly well I'm getting married next week!

Man 2: What's that naked man doing by the door?

Amy: Hello, Pond's Bar, wine, beer or whiskey?

Doctor: Do you have fish fingers and custard?

Amy: I'm sorry but Pond's Bar only sells drinks.

Doctor: I'll take a glass of wine then!

Amy serves him a glass of wine.

The Doctor drinks it and then spits it out.

Doctor: Wine's disgusting.

Amy: Well, men, it's 11:00. Time to close.

Men: Oh.

Amy: Sir, the naked one, shall I take you back to my house.

Doctor: Yes! A house! A housey housey housey house! With a garden and a TV and a sweet shop downstairs!

Amy and the Doctor reach her home.

Rory opens the door.

Rory: How dare you be naked in front of my soon to be wife!

Rory punches the Doctor's nose and it starts bleeding.

Doctor: Ouch! That hurt!

Amy: He dosen't seem to have a house or clothes!

Rory (Under breath): Or a brain for that matter!

Amy: Just give him a tissue and some clothes!

Rory gets him a tissue.

Rory: Come into our bedroom, Sir. You can have some of my clothes.

Rory and the Doctor go to Rory's wardrobe.

Doctor: Now, trousers. The custard ones can go. Oh, blue jeans! I'll have them.

The Doctor puts on the jeans.

Doctor: You have a lot of shirts. I'll take that one. And the tweed jacket. And the fez.

The Doctor puts them one and runs downstairs and nabs a bow tie.

Doctor: Bow tie are cool!

The Doctor faints.

Amy: Get him onto the sofa! Quick!

Amy and Rory carry him onto the sofa.

Rory: I wonder who he is?

Amy: Doctor who?

After a while, the Doctor sits bolt upright.

Doctor: Come along Pond!

The Doctor takes Amy's hand and they run to the TARDIS.

Doctor: I wonder what she's got for me this time...

The New TARDIS
Amy: She? It's just a police box.

Doctor: Let's go inside.

The Doctor takes Amy inside.

Doctor: It's called the TARDIS this thing. Time And Realtive Dimension In Space. It travels in time and space. And it's mine.

Amy: But it can't. That's impossible.

Doctor: Impossible is just code. You can do anything when you think about it. Even jumping off the Earth.

Amy: Where's Rory?

Rory runs into the TARDIS.

Doctor: Yes, it's bigger on the inside. Smaller on the outside.

Suddenly, something starts banging on the door.

Doctor: Who is it?

The Doctor opens the door, and a snake is present.

Doctor: AAH! A SNAKE!

Rory: You're afraid of a snake?

Doctor: Yes I am. The new desktop theme has just started. I'm just talking randomly. Do you know of a pizza place in town?

Amy: No.

Doctor: Good. I hate pizza.

A whole circle of snakes are gathering the bar.

Amy: My bar!

Doctor: Don't worry! I'll save your bar.

The Doctor takes Amy's hand and they dash inside the bar.

Doctor: Do you have a supplies cupboard? With spare wine and stuff in case of drainage problems?

Amy: Yes why?

The Doctor runs to the toilet cubicle.

Doctor: Whoops! Wrong door!

The Doctor opens up the supplies cupboard.

Doctor: I need all the wine we can find! Go go go!

Amy: But you hate wine!

Doctor: I don't care!

Rory, Amy and the Doctor get ten bottles of wine each.

Doctor: Now to get drunk more than ever before!

The Doctor drinks the first bottle, then spits it at the snakes.

The snakes get weaker.

The Snake Attack
Snakes: Doctor! You've changed again.

Doctor: I'm now afraid of you!

Snakes: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!

Doctor: But that dosen't stop me defeating you!

Snake: Snakes, attack!

The snakes all attack the Doctor.

Doctor: AAAAAHHHH!!!! Amy, save me!

Amy tries to attack the snakes but it dosen't work.

Amy: Don't worry Doctor! I'll save you!

Amy and Rory tie all the wine bottles together and then link them to the tap that produces wine.

Rory: Ready Amy?

Amy: Yes!

Amy turns the tap on and the wine starts running round the bar.

Snakes: Oh dear.

The snakes clamber off the Doctor.

Rory: On the bar table! Quick!

The trio leap onto the bar table.

Doctor: Bye bye snakes!

Travelling With The Doctor
The snakes die.

Doctor: Right. Home. Apart from if you want to come with me.

Rory: No. That life you lead is too dangerous!

Amy: But he travels in time and space.

Rory: Exactly! Our wedding is in seven days and I don't want you dieing.

Doctor: Well, Rory, I promise I'll keep you and Amy safe.

Rory: (Sighs) Oh all right then.

Amy: Yay!

The trio enter the TARDIS.

The End.