Doctor Who Saga/The Doctor Museum

 "The Doctor Museum" 

The Doctor made his way to the controls of his TARDIS; he had something he wanted to investigate on his own. “Now, I can get back to important things with the hairless apes out of the way. I cannot fathom how they have so little intelligence with that brain size.” He remarked. He flicked some switches on the console and pulled the main lever to take off, he had been reading the TARDIS’ records of co-ordinates for well-known attractions, and one these co-ordinates puzzled him. As the cylinders above the time rotor began to spin the console sent out a spark, making The Doctor quickly pull his hand back, as if to avoid burning it. The TARDIS clearly didn’t want him to land here. “Oi!” He yelled at his machine. “I’m finding a way in here whether you like it or not, so it’s easier just for you to land.” He explained to the sentient time capsule, it responded by calmly landing. As The Doctor left the box he had noticed what his TARDIS was trying to do. “Oh, that’s very funny.” He exclaimed, sarcastically. The TARDIS had crammed itself into a toilet cubicle in a public restroom. The Doctor attempted to ignore this, and squeezed himself through the door of the cubicle and walked out of the restroom.

His eyes rolled back when he realized to go any further he’d need to pay an admission fee. “Museums, it’s never fun to look at old stuff when you have to pay.” He stated, annoyed. He walked to the desk where a young man, whom seemed about 20, was sat; he was wearing a nametag that said “Adam” “Hello, sir, welcome. To enter this museum you must select the version of the tour you would like, Consumer Value, Premium Value or the full tour, which entails every exhibit you see in both those tours combined.” Adam explained to The Doctor. “I’ll take the full tour, please.” The Doctor said, a sly look in his eye. He noticed something was off about Adam. “Very well, sir, that will be-be-be-be two-two-twomillion cre-cre-credits, please.” Adam responded, to which The Doctor zapped Adam with the screwdriver, and a large amount of credits fell out of his mouth. “Aha, I could sense that you were an android.” The Doctor stated, yet Adam repeated the question. “Very well, sir, that will be-be-be-be two-two-twomillion cre-cre-credits, please.” Adam stated once more. “Ah, I meant to give you the credit through sonic waves, I’m lucky you dropped some out. I best cut down on my use of the screwdriver before it short-circuits.” He stated, putting the credits that Adam had dropped on the table. “Thank you! Enjoy your tour” The android replied, giving The Doctor his “full-day-full-tour” wristband. “And thanks to you for making this one of the annoying museums.” The Doctor responded, smarmily. He then proceeded to scan himself in, and his eyes were wide with shock when he saw where he was.

An old voice spoke up, a familiar old voice. “Hello there, my boy! Welcome, hm. This is The Doctor museum! You will be given a tour through each aspect of the life of the one called The Doctor, up until his latest incarnation. Our technology experts have given us audio reconstructions of his past selves’ voices; each one will guide you through. Welcome to the first Doctor section – artefacts, good deeds, and crimes are recorded here.” The voice spoke – it was clearly the voice of The Doctor’s first self, but recreated and programmed with technology. “How is this possible?” The Doctor questioned to himself, out loud. This museum couldn’t possibly have artefacts, he kept them all in his TARDIS, after he answered the question a hologram of his first incarnation appeared before him. “My dear boy, all the artefacts are on loan to us. The one who refers to himself as The Valeyard brought them here. I’m sure you’ve heard of him, hm? If not we’ll get to him in the 6th Doctor section.”

The Doctor was intrigued, a museum about himself; he had assumed he erased all records of him in the universe, but this is the one he could not detect. He decided to have a look at the artefacts on loan, of course his cane was there – as was his ring. The broken fluid link from the TARDIS was also on display in a glass case, next to a blood-stained bandage from when the TARDIS attempted to go to the start of the universe. Next to these artefacts was a list of crimes The Doctor’s first self had committed, which The Doctor began reading out loud. “Theft, kidnapping, attempted murder... when did my first self ever attempt that? Oh right, the caveman... breaking the first law of time, meddling in the affairs of other people.” The Doctor knew he occasionally had to make bad decisions, but he decided what he wanted. “Museum, would you be able to give me a full list of crimes committed by each Doctor?” He asked the hologram. The museum then expanded the list into thirteen different pages, each with a number, except the page in-between 8 and 9, which was simply marked as `X`. The Doctor began reading more.

“Page 2 – Breaking the first law of time, meddling in the affairs of other people, attempting to avoid exile,  Page 3 – Breaking the first law of time, meddling in the affairs of other people, attempting to shorten exile. Page 4 - Breaking the first law of time, meddling in the affairs of other people, attempted genocide of the daleks, genocide of the Osirians, genocide of the Kastrians. Page 5 - Breaking the first law of time, meddling in the affairs of other people, indirect cause of Adric’s death. Page 6 - Breaking the first law of time, meddling in the affairs of other people, murder of two Varos TV presenters, genocide of the Vervoids. Page 7 - Breaking the first law of time, meddling in the affairs of other people, destruction of Skaro. Page 8 - Breaking the first law of time, meddling in the affairs of other people. Page X - Breaking the first law of time, meddling in the affairs of other people, suspected genocide of Timelords and Daleks.”

The Doctor stopped reading here, realizing the Judoon’s pardon on his crimes would have worn off. “I know what this is.” The Doctor stated, turning and watching the Judoon walk out from behind the `staff` doors. “You are guilty of several genocides and murders. Sentence; Execution.” The Doctor now knew he needed a way to lengthen his pardon with the Judoon. “Wait!” He yelled. “I may have done all of those genocides you mentioned, but I can make up for it. The suspected genocide of the Timelords is not true! Check your records of accounts in the constellation of kasterborous, that signal was a warp into another universe, a whole planet – saved!” He yelled, the Judoon slowly checking their records. “The accounts are true. Doctor, your pardon may be lengthened. One day for each life saved on Gallifrey.” The Judoon leader remarked. “Lovely, rhino-face.” He responded, with his pardon now extended he made his way back to the TARDIS, taking a while to squeeze back into the toilet cubicle where it parked.