Talk:The Eleventh Hour (Part One) (The NK Tales)

This was a great first story! The cliffhanger was my fauvorite part and I can't wait to read Part 2!

Just some minor improvements to make the story easier to read:

Consider using full stops and paragraphing words

Example: Instead of : Whilst Shane and his classmates work on, Shane recieves a hypercube containing a message and it reads  'HELP ME!' in red pen, he goes over to Chyna 'Did you send this to me? Shane said, 'What even is it?, Apart from a message in a box' replies Chyna, 'A Message but who from?' says Shane and he runs out of the classroom whilst Mr Reynolds has his back turned.

Consider :  Whilst Shane and his classmates work on, Shane recieves a hypercube containing a message and it reads  'HELP ME!' in red pen, he goes over to Chyna.

'Did you send this to me? Shane said,

'What even is it?, Apart from a message in a box' replies Chyna,

'A Message but who from?' says Shane and he runs out of the classroom whilst Mr Reynolds has his back turned.

See how it makes it easier to read?

Also, it was rushed and very fast-paced. Consider extending your stories so they are not as rushed

I hope I do not sound to negative as it was a great first story and I can see you have alot of potential. Just consider slowing down your stories and the tips I gave you on making it easier to read

PS: Don't worry though, your not the only one who needs to improve. Even I slightly do!

K9Rules (Speak to Me!) 22:29, October 17, 2015 (UTC)