Talk:Skye is the Limit: Season Two/Journey To The TARDIS

Thoughts on the First Segment
A highly enjoyable start to what looks like a particularly epic SitL adventure! The beginning was shocking and made me immediately wonder what was going on. The Kaloman and Melkins are very interesting, and I hope to see more of them soon. (On a side note, the beginning of the word--"Kalo"--makes me wonder if you've discovered a minor secret of mine.)

The references so far have been great, and when Skye described New Zealand as "beautiful and scary", I genuinely laughed in front of my computer. I guess all the puns on the chat have done you some good, eh? :P

One minor critique: in some of your recent stories, including this one, you have included lines such as this:

Morning came for Skye.

While this is fairly descriptive and doesn't detract from my enjoyment, it reads a lot like stage directions for a play or script, and seems out of place in a work of prose. Personally, I feel it would be better to phrase it in a more literary, descriptive way. Perhaps something like "after a long and comfortable night, Skye awoke in the TARDIS bedroom feeling slightly groggy." Just a suggestion, of course; you're doing great!

Pinguinus impennis 16:22, May 18, 2014 (UTC)